Cockney Alphabet

Last month I wrote a post about Cockney Rhyming Slang (you can read it here ). You wouldn’t Adam and Eve (believe) how many more expressions I remembered once I had published it, but I’m not going to add any more to that now.

Also at risk of being forgotten these days is the Cockney Alphabet. Now, as I said before, I am not a Cockney. I was introduced to the slang and to the alphabet by my Dad, but he was not a Cockney either. I’m guessing that he picked these up from his fellow merchant seamen during WWII, some of whom probably were Cockneys.

I can’t remember all the alphabet, maybe my Dad didn’t know it all, but again it can be found with a google search and as with the slang there are many alternatives for the same thing. I have listed here those I do remember but had to look up suggestions for some of memory gaps and some that I do remember are not quite the same as those I have found on the internet but here goes:

A for ‘orses (speaks for itself!)
B for mutton (beef or mutton)
C for fishes (again obvious)

Then I had to look up: D for Kate (defecate)
and E for brick (heave a brick) or Eve for Adam

F for vescence (effervescence)

Again I looked up: G for Police (chief of police apparently!)
and H for bless you (Aitsshfa! A sneeze) of H for retirement (age for retirement)

I for lutin’ (highfalutin) or I for an eye
J for organge (Jaffa orange or even Jaffa Cakes)
K for restaurant (cafe  or restaurant)
L for leather
M for size (emphasise)
N for lope (envelope)
O for ture (overture or ‘O for the wings of a dove,’ ‘Over the rainbow’ etc.)
P for a penny (you know – spend a penny!)
Q for busses (queue – obvious again!)
R for mo (‘arf a mo’ – half a moment, ie wait a moment)

Had to look up: S for you (as for you)

T for two (tea for two)
U for mism (euphemism)
V for La France (vive La France or even viva Espana)
W for quits (‘Double you for quits’ or ‘double your money’  amongst others!)
X for size (exercise) or X for breakfast (eggs for breakfast)
Y for husband/mistress (wife or husband/mistress)

and finally I had to look up: Z for wind (zephyr wind!)

I have no idea what use you will find for this information but you must agree it is rather fun and it would be a shame for it to just become a distant, long-forgotten memory.

Broken Glass

Broken glass
beside the road
sparkles like diamonds
in the mid-morning sun.

An Elfje Valentine

Heart
of mine
beats so fast,
hoping you’ll be my
Valentine.

_____________________________

OK — it’s a day late, sorry but I don’t post on Tuesdays!

Meet Lola

Bike 'Lola'A couple of week s ago I posted about the number of bikes we have between us (you can read the post here) and I mentioned that I had a Raleigh Capri One bike, with only a few miles on the clock, belonging to our son’s girlfriend as she had no room to store it at home, having borrowed a mountain bike from our son. She gave me permission to ride it while it was here, which I did, but only the once since it was almost brand new and I didn’t want to spoil it.

The bike (pictured) fitted me as if it had been made for me, the only adjustment needed was the saddle height. The frame is actually XS size! I found it very comfortable and easy to ride and I said at the time that I would be reluctant to give it back. It is specifically designed for endurance/sportive riding with a more comfortable riding position than an outright race bike so is well suited to my needs. Well, now my son’s girlfriend has decided it is not the bike for her and offered to sell it to me if I wanted it. Did I want it? You bet I did.

To be fair I love my Forme bike, ‘Fifi’, which I only bought last autumn as a winter bike to save going out on my Motobecane classic road racing bike ‘Captain Beaky’ when the roads are wet and muddy, but it is on the top end of the correct size for me and we did have to make quite a few changes for it to fit me anywhere near correctly. It too is a lovely ride but having bought the Raleigh I didn’t really need it anymore. So to cut a long story short, my husband has decided to take it over as it fits him well and will make a good winter bike for him.

The interesting thing is that I asked my son if the Capri One had a name and it turns out his girlfriend had called it ‘Lola’ which, as it happens, is the name I had seriously considered for the Forme instead of ‘Fifi’, so ‘Lola’ it still is.

Ready to Ride.The day I handed over the money was a cold day, but fine and reasonably dry, so we decided to celebrate by going out for a ride, me on Lola and my husband on his newly commandeered Forme bike, Fifi. Here we are, all ready to ride and rugged up against the cold – except hubby forgot his gloves and had to go back indoors for them!

Now however, this has upset the balance – instead of five-and-a-half bikes apiece (the half being the shared tandem) I now have only four-and-a-half while he has six-and-a-half. Then again, he is thinking of parting with his most recent acquisition, the full-suspension mountain bike. He has offered it to our daughter-in-law, but it fits me quite well and if she doesn’t want it I may commandeer it for myself – it’s good to keep these things in the family!

Old Photographs

Looking at old photographs,
bringing back memories,
and tales told of times
before I was born.

Beech Tree

The staunch old beech tree
grown too big, too near the house.
Sad to see it go.

Elfje Book

Announcing my next book on http://simplyelfje.wordpress.com. I am still trying to contact contributors so please read to the end if you have contributed but not heard from me yet.

Simply Elfje

Simply
Elfje book
of the blog
coming soon. Watch this
space.

© Elizabeth Leaper
_________________________________

Hello again. I’m back here briefly to tell you about my new project. I am in the process of preparing a book of Elfje poems. This will be both print and e-book and will contain many of my Elfje that have appeared on this blog. There will also be an updated version of the article on how to write Elfje and it is my hope that the book will continue to further awareness of this lovely little form.

There have been so many Elfje on this blog over the years and I can’t possibly include them all; this is why I have chosen to focus on my own ones. However it is my intention to include a selection of Elfje from the contributors to this blog and I have been contacting these people for their…

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At Last

At last a day
that’s dry and still.
The sun attempts
a watery smile.

Debutantes

Welcome
Spring’s harbingers.
Heads bowed shyly,
white-clad debutantes cluster.
Snowdrops.

Bikes

I haven’t written anything about cycling for a while, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t done any. I must confess I am a bit of a fair weather cyclist though and lately it has been too cold, dank and miserable for me to go out much. Our rides have been fairly short, about 10 miles at most, sticking to main roads at quieter times (the lanes are just too mucky). Last time we went out I was wearing pretty well two of everything – including leggings! I have to say two pairs of gloves does tend to make gear changing a tad difficult.

One thing I have noticed recently while thinking about more than actually riding is the number of bikes that we own between us. I have written before about mine, and shared pictures on this blog (no new ones today, sorry, but I am trying to get this post scheduled quickly as I shall be away for the weekend and back too late to post for Monday – ie today if you are reading it). I have, as you know, Captain Beaky (my Motobecane classic road racing bike), a clunky old Raleigh mountain bike and my more recently acquired Fifi (my Forme Longcliffe road bike) as a winter bike.

In addition I now have my son’s girlfriend’s lovely Raleigh Capri One road bike on loan. She has borrowed a mountain bike from him, hasn’t room to store both so we are storing it for her with her permission for me to try it out. It’s a super bike, fits me better than Fifi, being a slightly smaller frame, and I am going to be reluctant to give it back!

Now to my husband: he has his classic road racing bike – a Freddy Grub, for those in the know, dating back to the late 50’s/early 60’s and also a clunky old Raleigh mountain bike of the same era as mine. Recently he fished out an old classic road-race type frame that was in our barn (having been rescued many years ago from a ditch) and discovered it to be a Claude Butler of similar age to the Grubb. So he has now restored it and has ridden it a few times,  however the frame is a bit big for him, though it fits our son quite well. He has also since bought another Raleigh mountain-bike, not quite so old and full-suspension this time – a friend was selling it cheap and he can’t resist a bargain!

So I have three, plus one on loan, and he has four. On top of that, as you know, we also have a tandem. Then there are a couple of folding bikes on board our yacht, for use in port when we have no other transport. That makes five and a half a piece. Our youngest son who lives at home also has several bikes (I haven’t dared count them), mostly mountain bikes, plus several more in various stages of renovation including at least one road bike.

The bad news is that many of these are actually overwintering in our conservatory as they are probably better protected from the cold and damp, with the bonus that they are ready to hand when required. It does mean we can’t use the conservatory, but then it is a bit cold out there right now. At least most of the mountain bikes are down the garden in the shed.

Thinking about owning all these bikes it does beggar the question – why do we need so many? Well, you know the answer to that already, we have discussed it before (read about it here) – you need N+1, where N is the number you already have.

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